So, are you one of those "Over-The-Hump" or one of those who is under the hump? Sometimes I feel like there is so much going on, that the hump is piled high on top of me.
Today is going to be interesting in that I have to get ready for one of those "procedures" where you have to fast
for a couple of days before you go into the hospital. During the procedure they roll you in, hook your bottom up to high-pressure air and inflate to 30 psi. If that is not bad enough, they stick a tube with a camera attached to the end probe all the way through and you get to watch what it looks like "where the sun don't ever shine"
, but it gets worse still!
Do they just pull it out when they have gone all the way through you? Oh no! They have to turn it around INSIDE
you; then inflate you to 45 psi and watch for air leaks as they watch while the camera is facing the other direction! During the whole time you feel like a human balloon while issuing abnoxious sounds from your bottom! You feel like a rubber duck about to explode!
Imagine for a moment, the sound of high pressure air coming out of a balloon, but it's not a balloon, it's coming from between your cheeks! (...You know, what cheeks I mean, the cheeks without lips!) You kinda' feel like the Michelin Tire character, but all pink and bloated.
So in celebration of the event I have written a little ditty based upon a popular old song:
While strollin' though my rectum one day,
Past some very hairy cheeks some say,
I was taken by surprise, by that camera in disguise,
When the doctor stuck it in and said; "Olay!"
Oh, how it hurt when she started to pump me up!
Oh, the pain, when she inflated up my rump,
I was in such agony, surely I was gonna pee!
Or just go.....pop!
While strollin' through my colon that day,
I could see right through to my organs to my dismay,
On the TV screen I spied, it was like seeing a sausage from inside,
I yelled; My God, I see my organs!" or so I cried!
Oh, the pain on seeing such a view,
How that camera turned the corner in me I haven't got a clue,
My god, my liver from inside me it looks blue!
I hope this is over soon, because I don't know what to do,
While strollin' past my kidneys that day,
She said "we're almost done." I yelled "hooray!"
Then that tube came out like a cork,
And the air rushed out like squeeling pork!
...While strollin' in my colon one day!